Where Do You Belong? What Makes YOU Happy?
Everyone knows the cliché saying, "wrong place, wrong time."
It's used for excuses for breakups, explanations for tragedies and so on. but I want to focus on who you are and who I am.
I was born and raised in the suburbs of Buffalo, NY my whole life, and I've always wondered what destined that fate. Like, WOOHOO, lucky me!
No, but honestly, Buffalo is not bad at all. It was always the ideology of ways of living other than my own that sparked my attention and intrigued me.
Buffalo has given me a lot: a sense of belonging through people, the tight-knit community of "good neighbors," the mindset to never give up no matter how shitty the bills are, and honestly the best food in the entire country (biased opinion).
And sure, we get sun sometimes...
But I always hated the cold and longed for warm weather, the bright glow from the continuous and dependable sun and beaches you could consider your "backyard."
I dreamt of city lights, individualism, self-expression and the chaotic crowded city feel.
I have envisioned no "home" at all, a sense of nomadism I tell my friends. The idea of traveling far and wide to hundreds of places all with different cultural values and ways of life to learn from and grow from.
Overall, I felt I was born IN the wrong place and AT the wrong time.
I hope as I grow older I can accomplish all these different ideal lifestyles and truly experience all the world has to offer in our short lifetimes.
Maybe I will live in a small, rickety home with walking distance from a beach.
I always thought of myself as a "beach bum." I love how the saltwater dries my hair into golden, effortless waves. I love how the sand feels beneath my feet, and the feeling of the sun's rays hitting my skin, even if its consequence is sunburn.
The joy that fills me as I am in the ocean's presence is undeniable and unexplainable. I feel the most full of life and uncontrollably, unconditionally happy!
But maybe, just maybe, it's the city that I will confide in and conquer.
The bustle of traffic, aesthetic of the architecture alongside the freedom of being your authentic and unapologetic self; I can see myself walking along the streets accompanied by crowds all through the day and night, taking in the atmosphere, people watching and focusing on none other than me.
I can envision the glorified, overpriced street vendor food that I can not refuse but purchase due to its sense of guilty indulgence and my uncontrollable love of trying new things.
Most likely in a small, cramped and run-down studio apartment would I settle and call my home in this lifetime, but it would make for a simple life. A good life. A memorable life.
But at last, who says you need to confide in a physical home at all? I have so many views on how repetition and stereotypes have broken our society into an ongoing cycle of living to learn, to work, to settle and to die... but that's a wholeeee other concept.
What I really hope and dream for my future is a nomadic way of life. Yes, I know, when I say nomad you probably think native tribes before settlers came to the Americas or cavemen or some shit.
But I mean the idea of traveling place to place for times at a time. Unplanned times with no itinerary, just until I feel fulfilled.
I have always admired different cultures/ways of life in other countries.
The uniqueness of each is so beautiful and constructed to meet their own home's individual and socially constructed needs.
Being able to learn from them all, take part in them all and consider not only one physical building my "home," but the ENTIRE WORLD my home is my goal. Why limit yourself, right?
I once took a trip to Costa Rica and found myself in love with how the people there live. Their hello, goodbye and overall greeting is "pura vida."
"Pura vida" translated to the English language means "the pure life" or "the simple life."
The people of Costa Rica don't bother with worrying about money or success or race to get tasks done. It's all at their own pace and they live out of total enjoyment.
THAT IS WHAT I WANT OUT OF LIFE.
Pure bliss and simplicity.
I guess the future will always be a mystery though...
We won't know which part of us will override the others and we won't know where we end up.
But isn't that the fun in it all?
I just know that I want more than a cookie-cutter lifestyle or white picket fence shit. I want happiness. I want adventure. I want to wake up every morning never asking for more or something different than what I have in that moment.
I just simply want to belong, and if maybe it's not with an actual place its the sense of belonging I hold within myself.
Do what makes you happy and travel the lengths and widths you hope and dream to.