Here’s some advice for you — if you are ever wondering if your significant other is the one for you, just think about these simple questions: Do they take interest in your life outside of the one you share? Do they surprise you when it's least expected? Do they respect your family? Now, I know there may be a lot more questions to decide whether or not you have found the one. But let me break these three down for you:
Do they take an interest?
For starters, nobody likes a self-obsessed person, or at least it's not my cup of tea. So, I look for someone that wants to hear about my life outside of them. Asking the simple questions is important. "How was work?" "What did you do today?" — anything that shows they have a caring heart. In my opinion, there's nothing more attractive than an active listener. So lending an ear and showing that you enjoy engaging in activities truthfully just sets the bar high for me in a relationship.
Do they surprise you?
Okay, I know nobody asked, but gifts go a long way. They don't have to be expensive, and they don't even have to be bought. But letting it be known that you are thinking about the relationship grows and strengthens the bond. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not about material things at all. It could be something as simple as cooking dinner, bringing flowers or a text message exclaiming your love. Trust me, it all matters. However, if it is a holiday and there isn’t even a thoughtful card involved, do yourself a favor and walk away. Know your worth. If someone isn’t willing to do for you what you do for them, they don’t deserve you at all.
Respecting Your Family
I get that everyone’s relationship with their family is different, and some may not be healthy at all, so this goes out to the ones who need it. Your partner should respect you along with your family and vice versa. Take it from me, parents will respect your partner if they show some interest in your family or even say things like "yes ma’am" and "no ma’am." The little things count for something. Trust me, I know sometimes it's hard to get your parents to respect your partner early into the relationship because they are too busy trying to scare them off. So, have the conversation early to ensure you know that respect is going both ways.
If you’re in a relationship or planning on getting into one soon, be sure to ask these questions to decide whether or not you have found "the one." Hopefully, this sets you up for a lifetime of boundaries and lasting love.